I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
