As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
