Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
