its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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