then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
