I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
