u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
