He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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