Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
