the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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