I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
