Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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