carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
