did you get engaged???
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude i'm inner monologue high
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
