I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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