I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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