Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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