no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
