watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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