problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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