Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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