dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
