I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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