You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
birth control should be required to get into college
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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