These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
