16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
