You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
