Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she smelled like a LAN party
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
