he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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