Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
