well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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