sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
