there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize