i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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