today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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