just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
