Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
