is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
