Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
