You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
