I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
