everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
