UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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