did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
