Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
