Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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