i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
