so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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