sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
