But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
